In 1776, the second continental congress in America declared America's independence from the British. The 13 states in North America became free and independent state with dissolution of their British connection. 230 years later you've got the United States of America - the land of the free. Anyone can do anything as long as it abides to the law.
It's a natural thing to say that freedom is good. Perhaps even to say freedom is a necessity to run a civilized society well. We all enjoy the idea that we are free. Free to do whatever we want. But after a long time of being "ruled" and living our lives in a certain structure, freedom seems to be such a peculiar idea. For example, Brooks from Shawshank Redemption. He's been in the prison for quite a long time and he didn't really like the idea of being freed because the prison became his life. When he went out, he felt lost with nothing to do and ultimately killed himself.
I'm not talking about being imprisoned here or being ruled by another country, I'm talking about our lives being ruled and guided by certain things - work, relationship, etc. We all start in a blank slate- we have all the time in the world to do whatever we want be it legal or illegal because we have the freedom to do so. However, commitments start to fill our blank slate. We get family commitments, work commitments, sports that make us train 3 times a week, commitment to keep ourselves fit by going to the gym, commitment to see friends, etc. This things just starts on filling our blank slate until we end up with a scheduled life - 9-5: work. 5-7: sports. 7-8: dinner 8-11: work. 11-12: catch up with friends and family 12-8: sleep. And this goes on every single day of the week with minor variations such as see family in the weekend 9-12. We programme our lives just like we programme computers to do things. And of course, we bitch about how busy we always are. How much we hate work and how we would be rather at home doing nothing in our pyjama watching Jeremy Kyle show. As for relationships, it's the same thing. Sometimes we all feel that we are constricted by being in a commited relationship. How we want more freedom amd how we don't want to be tied down.
Thing is I think freedom from a scheduled life and committed relationships are just bull. Some people might think, including myself that we lie to ourselves that we would rather be at home than do work. We lie to ourselves that we hate the fact that we live a scheduled life. We lie to ourselves that we don't want to be committed in a relationship. Why? Because it's hard to accept that we do. It's hard to say that we are junkies for a hectic lifestyle. We are addicted to it and sometimes can't get enough even though we say we hate it. Take smoking for example. I always say that I hate smoking. I mean who would say they love smoking nowadays considering that is one of the leading carcinogenic substance. Why do I still do it? I love the high that I get when smoking. Same thing with work, I love the high I get when I accomplish things. I love the high that I get when I win in my sports. I love the high I get seeing my friends and my family. I love the high that I get when I know that my life would be better if it is scheduled because that means I don't have to decided what to do next for myself. As for relationships, I'm sure everyone is high with the pleasure they get from sex and this is particularly true in the gay community. It is incredibly rare to meet a gay guy in a bar not looking for sex but for a relationship- hell, it is hard to find a GUY who would rather have relationship than sex. However, it's easier to get freedom from relationships than freedom from a hectic lifestyle. It's harder to quit your job than to break up with someone. It's harder to stop a hobby than to say "it's not working out for us" because you invested so much in your career and your hobby than with your relationship. You dedicate your blood sweat and tears for your career and hobbies and as for relationships...well, mostly bodily fluids. Once you're free from your hectic lifestlye you will have the withdrawal symptom of wanting it back because you got used to it just like Brooks from Shawshank Redemption. You would wanna want it back. But for relationship, the highs in sex would be enough to make you not want it back. However, you will want it back once you realised you're too old and wants to get settled in. So don't you think it's a little bit stupid to be wasting our time in this freedom that we know we wouldn't want in the future?
Adaptation. We know what this is and we've done it so many times. I'm sure everyone who just came out of a hectic lifestyle can learn how to adapt their new found freedom? We could settle in and learn to love the fact that you've just watched 2 Jeremy Kyle shows in 1 day. However, same thing cannot be applied for relationships. We will learn how to love being single again. You know, the cliches - "I love being single." But in the end, we all know that we would want to get out of this adaptation and be imprisoned for the rest of our lives.
It's a natural thing to say that freedom is good. Perhaps even to say freedom is a necessity to run a civilized society well. We all enjoy the idea that we are free. Free to do whatever we want. But after a long time of being "ruled" and living our lives in a certain structure, freedom seems to be such a peculiar idea. For example, Brooks from Shawshank Redemption. He's been in the prison for quite a long time and he didn't really like the idea of being freed because the prison became his life. When he went out, he felt lost with nothing to do and ultimately killed himself.
I'm not talking about being imprisoned here or being ruled by another country, I'm talking about our lives being ruled and guided by certain things - work, relationship, etc. We all start in a blank slate- we have all the time in the world to do whatever we want be it legal or illegal because we have the freedom to do so. However, commitments start to fill our blank slate. We get family commitments, work commitments, sports that make us train 3 times a week, commitment to keep ourselves fit by going to the gym, commitment to see friends, etc. This things just starts on filling our blank slate until we end up with a scheduled life - 9-5: work. 5-7: sports. 7-8: dinner 8-11: work. 11-12: catch up with friends and family 12-8: sleep. And this goes on every single day of the week with minor variations such as see family in the weekend 9-12. We programme our lives just like we programme computers to do things. And of course, we bitch about how busy we always are. How much we hate work and how we would be rather at home doing nothing in our pyjama watching Jeremy Kyle show. As for relationships, it's the same thing. Sometimes we all feel that we are constricted by being in a commited relationship. How we want more freedom amd how we don't want to be tied down.
Thing is I think freedom from a scheduled life and committed relationships are just bull. Some people might think, including myself that we lie to ourselves that we would rather be at home than do work. We lie to ourselves that we hate the fact that we live a scheduled life. We lie to ourselves that we don't want to be committed in a relationship. Why? Because it's hard to accept that we do. It's hard to say that we are junkies for a hectic lifestyle. We are addicted to it and sometimes can't get enough even though we say we hate it. Take smoking for example. I always say that I hate smoking. I mean who would say they love smoking nowadays considering that is one of the leading carcinogenic substance. Why do I still do it? I love the high that I get when smoking. Same thing with work, I love the high I get when I accomplish things. I love the high that I get when I win in my sports. I love the high I get seeing my friends and my family. I love the high that I get when I know that my life would be better if it is scheduled because that means I don't have to decided what to do next for myself. As for relationships, I'm sure everyone is high with the pleasure they get from sex and this is particularly true in the gay community. It is incredibly rare to meet a gay guy in a bar not looking for sex but for a relationship- hell, it is hard to find a GUY who would rather have relationship than sex. However, it's easier to get freedom from relationships than freedom from a hectic lifestyle. It's harder to quit your job than to break up with someone. It's harder to stop a hobby than to say "it's not working out for us" because you invested so much in your career and your hobby than with your relationship. You dedicate your blood sweat and tears for your career and hobbies and as for relationships...well, mostly bodily fluids. Once you're free from your hectic lifestlye you will have the withdrawal symptom of wanting it back because you got used to it just like Brooks from Shawshank Redemption. You would wanna want it back. But for relationship, the highs in sex would be enough to make you not want it back. However, you will want it back once you realised you're too old and wants to get settled in. So don't you think it's a little bit stupid to be wasting our time in this freedom that we know we wouldn't want in the future?
Adaptation. We know what this is and we've done it so many times. I'm sure everyone who just came out of a hectic lifestyle can learn how to adapt their new found freedom? We could settle in and learn to love the fact that you've just watched 2 Jeremy Kyle shows in 1 day. However, same thing cannot be applied for relationships. We will learn how to love being single again. You know, the cliches - "I love being single." But in the end, we all know that we would want to get out of this adaptation and be imprisoned for the rest of our lives.
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